there's a fire on Junk Island where they send their garbage

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 21:18:18 GMT

and once it's gone,
^{it's like it wasn't there

at all}

Rolling Stones.

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 18:13:34 GMT

You cant always get what you want
But If you try sometimes
You might find
You get what you need

Sun, 29 May 2005 20:33:42 GMT

I've got a 20 dollar bill that says no ones

ever seen you without make up.

You're always made up.

Wed, 25 May 2005 07:25:32 GMT

I'm incredibly happy when I'm with him

But I know it's temporary, it feels temporary.

And I don't feel safe.

My little black heart steals the show

And tells him he's too late.

In other news, I'm borrowing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory from a friend

And the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Season 1 and 2 as well.

Which makes me happy.

Uhh.. Put the lime in the coconut..

we'll be the opposite of everything

Thu, 05 May 2005 07:25:36 GMT

I don't know about LJ

but mine is pretty, at least I think so

I'm a sucker for CSI and all those other investigative, morbid shows.

Do you own lots of pairs of socks?

Oh well, I don't eat after 7

I'm stoked

because

I saw my ex the other day

and I thought I'd never see him again

I like seeing people from my past

But we've both changed so much, so maybe we'll have a future

OMGCHEESYMOMENT!1!11ONE!!!1

It's only Thursday.

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 04:49:40 GMT

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because someone threw a fridge at her

Proud to be an American

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 01:18:48 GMT

20% of Americans think that the sun orbits around the Earth.

Yes, we are fucking retarded.

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 21:32:49 GMT

The grass is always greener on the other side:

If the grass is greener on the other side, then the guy with the greener grass doesn't think your grass is greener now does he, asshole?

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 07:24:02 GMT

STUPIDEST PHONE CALL EVER
"Lois? I can't take out the garbage because I'm at the office & they're making me stay late"
"The caller ID says that you're calling from the kitchen, In fact, I can see you."
"Can you see me now?"
"No."
"Okay, now I'm at the office."

HAHAHA, it was pretty pointless, yes. So i most likely will post something else that has more meaning. Alright? Okay.

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 02:02:18 GMT

If I gave you pretty enough words, could you paint a picture of us that works?

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 21:50:47 GMT

I had a dream I strangled you then hung your organs around my room as decorations

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 04:37:18 GMT

Audrey left some lipstick on her cigarette in the ashtray
with a note scrawled on a napkin saying "this is glamour."
this is where Hollywood cues the delusion
that everything looked this blue through Sinatra's eyes.
what America needs is another worthwhile overdose.
celestial bodies constructed on set
destined to explode in the headlines.

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 21:21:40 GMT

i wanna float through life

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 20:18:21 GMT

So there was this woman and she was on an airplane, and she was flying to meet her fiancé seaming high above the largest ocean on planet earth. She was seated next to this man she had tried to start conversations, but the only thing she had really heard him say was to order his Bloody Mary. She was sitting there and she was reading this really arduous magazine article about a third world country that she couldn’t even pronounce the name of. And she was feeling very bored and despondent. And then suddenly there was this huge mechanical failure and one of the engines gave out, and they started just falling thirty-thousand feet, and the pilots on the microphone and he’s saying

"I'm sorry,

I'm sorry,

oh my God"

and apologizing. And she looks at the man and says "Where are we going?" and he looks at her and he says "We’re going to a party. It’s a birthday party. It’s your birthday party. Happy birthday darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much." And then he starts humming this little tune, it kind of goes like this

...

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 20:01:03 GMT

convinced there's a war on
it's always everybody versus you

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 05:55:13 GMT

I had the whole world in my hands
And I gave it away

You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me
You're not here with me

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 23:16:52 GMT

The calendar hung itself.

STD's are sexy. Like asthma.

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 06:53:13 GMT

Are you scene or are you Elton John?

WHOOPEE CUSHION

1. Blow into the nozzle to inflate.

2. Place it on the seat of a chair.

3. When someone sits on the chair - PPPPFFFFTTTT!!

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 23:03:37 GMT

I hate needing someone a lot more than they need me.

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 08:33:38 GMT

Last Cigarette: I don't smoke
Last Alcoholic Drink: few weeks ago
Last Car Ride: like awesome ride? Its been awhile =/ stupid broken car e_e
Last Kiss: Hmm...proper kiss? Quite a while now me thinks.. actuuuually.. I haven’t really had an awesome kiss. They all sucked at kissing and it never gave me any feeling. heh
Last Good Cry: new years
Last Library Book: finished one 2 weeks ago
Last book bought: crank
Last Book Read: reading crank and the.. pants book
Last Movie Seen in Theatres: darkness. Ive gotta see white noise. Oh yes were definitely doing that
Last Movie Rented: wicker park and I, robot
Last Cuss Word Uttered: fuuuuckernickle
Last Beverage Drank: ice tea
Last Food Consumed: potater sticky things. Theyre so cute
Last Crush: we all have crushes but im taken so not needed

Last Phone Call: don’t have a phone damn it. but the last person I talked to was Josh
Last TV Show Watched: sex and the city and charmed
Last Time Showered: this morning
Last Shoes Worn: green converseseses –pets them-
Last CD Played: story of the year cuz I was feeling emo. gayness
Last Item Bought: pack of gum?
Last Download: apc video –gasp- you just accused me of illegally downloading. Oh and I just.. admitted to it.. shhh
Last Annoyance: sick old men that CANT CONTROL THEIR WRINKLY WEINERS
Last Disappointment: -looks in the mirror- I should get more sleep ¬.¬
Last Soda Drank: diet cherry cooooke
Last Thing Written: “I am the tache noir” on my hand
Last Key Used: key to the.. house
Last Words Spoken: you suuuuck pussy cat (was talking to my cat)
Last Sleep: earlier this afternoon. I took a nap. I hate naps, they are evil
Last Ice Cream Eaten: hm.. I think twas.. moose tracks. Yea its been awhile
Last Chair Sat In: erm this one –wiggles my bum bum-
Last Webpage Visited: other than this one? Xanga

THAT WAS NOT ENJOYABLE AT ALL. NEVER DRINK ENERGY DRINKS AT 2 AM. it keeps you up like all day. Well it could be cuz I napped and cant sleep now. Ergh.

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 20:39:31 GMT

PUSSYWILLOW!

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 01:03:21 GMT

If you marry me.

Would you bury me?

Would you carry me to the end?

So say goodbye to the vows you take.

And say goodbye to the life you make.

And say goodbye to the hearts you break.

And all the cyanide you drank.

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 06:08:27 GMT

But some things never get better
like used cars and bad livers

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 09:05:24 GMT

You and 3 friends are going on a cruise, but the ship crashes. You're deserted on an island. First, let's meet you and your friends.

Okay. So, what's your name?: Kirsten
Friend #1 :: Stephanie
Friend #2 :: Marcelo
Friend #3 :: Shannon
Who's the most likely to be the 'leader'?: Shannon.
Who's going to be the comic relief?: All of us.
Which friend would probably end up going insane?: Steph
And lastly, which of you plans to kill the others? None of us. Except Marcelo might get hungry

Alrighty. So, now. Let's find out more about the trip.
You brought one item. What was it?: pen
What did Friend #1 bring?: hopefully a flare with a flare gun
Friend #2?: he’d bring the food
Friend #3?: her cam
Do you wish you had anything else?: well yea
If so, what?: shoe shining kit? Ok maybe not.. a boat
Are you beginning to re-consider your choice of friends?: nope
What food did you manage to bring, if any?: gum, lollipops. Marker has all the food remember?
What will you do for water?: Drink the sea water and get sick?
And just WHERE do you plan on finding refuge to sleep?: cardboard boxes X]

Trouble Strikes...
There's a body. Who is it?: Some one who was there before us.
You look around. Someone's whistling. Who is it?: Steph, I cant really whistle
Someone obviously killed it. Who do you think it was?: Marcelo
You see a wild pig run into the ocean, squealing. What do you do?: aww we have a new friend
Ok. So you chased the pig, and beat the crap out of it. Why?: because someone got hungry >.> HEY I WANTED TO KEEP IT
Did the pig tell you anything?: yes it said “youre a cunt, youre gonna pay. And don’t steal my stash of porno magazines!!”
Now you need to focus. What are you going to do with the body?: Throw it in the ocean.

You decided, as a group, to bury the body. But now, it's time to sleep.
Who's staying up to keep guard?: Marcelo
How many tents did you bring?: None, bitch, we built FORTS.
Is everyone sleeping in the tent?: No, the guard is keeping watch and everyone else is sleeping in their FORTS.
If not, where is the guard?: He’s sitting outside the forts smart one that’s his job
Well, sorry. No one wants to be guard. You're up.: O.O
And guess what? Everyone's sleeping. And a gun just went off. Scared?: Eh kind of.
Do you run and wake the others? Or do you watch for signs of life?: I think steph would eventually give up on sleep cuz shes took freaked out
Inevitably, you find a body. Another friend. Which one?: Another pig. I consider all the pigs my friend
Damn. Not again? So. You're friends are sleeping... Who did it?: uh whoever shot the gun.. der
Well. You need to bury the body. Do you tell your other two friends?: Yea, I’m not gonna lift that pig myself, are you NUTS?!
Leaning against a tree, you watch until morning. Do you sleep?: Nope

It's morning. Your friends wake up, wondering where the other one is.
What are you going to do today?: YOU DID THIS TO THE PIG, DIDN’T YOU?! DIDN’T YOU!!!!
Do you think you will ever get off this island?: Maybe.
It's a nice day. Are you going to swim or find a way off the island?: A little of both.
Deciding to take advantage of the situation, you, indeed, swim. With who?: steph
While you and your friend are swimming. You hear a scream.: Dude, will you idiots shut the fuck up, we’re trying to swim!
Who, or what was it?: Shannon
Do you keep swimming, or find out who it is?: Look over and see shannon
Regardless of your decision, eventually you go look. Where do you look?: Where ever I think Shannon would run to scream and hide?
Heading that way, you find another squealing wild pig, and follow it.: Of course I follow it, the pigs are my friends!
In front of you, you find a big... hairy... what?: PENGUIN.
It lunges at you, but you and your friend know you have to follow the pig.: And we follow the pig.
But now your friend has just been eaten. You're alone. Do you go on?: Yea, I guess. But then I realize she wasn’t dead, she was just sleeping, so she caught up with me
Running ahead, you see a light. What color is it?: neon green
Either way, it's the light of a fire! Who's by the fire?: The people who shot the others. Aka the keepers of the pigs.
You see a bunch of bodies laying around the fire. Is your friend dead?: no
If so, what do you do now?: run around in circles making funny noises
If not, do you take the friend and run, or just run on your own?: grab her and run
Rescue?
Finally, when you start to run, something trips you. Where are you?: In a cactus bush.. wtf?
Staring down at you is a big... what?: BOY
He tells you to get up. You do. He pulls out a knife and..: says “Hey, look at my knife.”
But, he doesn't. He cuts the root that tripped you. You...: grassy-ass
All your friends are there. Was it a prank?: Oh dear. They never left, though?
None the less, you're alive. Are you happy?: Of course.
So. Be happy. You lived.: Alright.
But what do you do to your friends for playing a trick on you?: hug them and throw salami in their pants and dynamite in their bags mwaha XD

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 23:20:29 GMT

So this is the new year

and I don't feel any different.

So this is the new year

and I have no resolution.